It's a Man's World!

I work a 9-5 (actually, I work a 7:30-4:30, but you get the gist). I am a young woman and I work in a predominantly male-dominated industry (which is a whole different story to get into on another day or at a later time) and I make my morning commute with thousands of other busy business people. Of those thousands of people I hustle and bustle around the streets with it has become very apparent to me that like 98% of them are men. Big, bulky, imposing men everywhere. I became very self-aware last week when Spring decided to bless the city with temperatures above freezing and I was able to wear my new adorable pastel pink trench coat.

[side-note: Don't judge me for being blonde, 5'4, petite, and for enjoying feminine attire such as pink and flowers and dresses. I am more than what I know you think I am when you see me walking down the street--and I refuse to dress in a way that makes me feel frumpy or unhappy just so you will think I'm tough and intelligent and to be taken seriously. So deal with my appearance and stop talking to me like a baby and stop calling me darling and sweetheart and baby-girl. I don't like it and just because I don't dress in a boxy, shapeless, 90's inspired women's work-appropriate disgusting blazer doesn't mean I'm to be disrespected and treated like a child or brainless ditz. And please, dear god, stop "accidentally" brushing against my breasts and ass when there is more than enough room for us to coexist. Thanks.]

I was noticed. And I noticed that I had no female companions on my car. It was me and 50 men every morning. Swaying and bobbing back and forth on our way to earn our dollars.

I've been doing the same commute for the last 6 months but last week it seemed like I finally opened my eyes and saw that I was engulfed in a sea of suits and ties and slicked back hair (or shiny bald heads, haha). I stuck out like a sore thumb. The whole week I would count heads to see what my man-woman ratio was. Women in business attire vs. Women with shopping bags. Women with briefcases vs. strollers. Men ruled. I know, I know. This isn't news. This isn't like some new fad that suddenly popped up. But have you ever had that moment where you were suddenly struck with a huge, unsettling what-the-fuck thought? Where it all comes together and you question what the hell is wrong with the picture? That was me. I was reminded of all the bullshit I have to put up with on a daily basis just to maintain the same level of respect (or as close to respect as I can get) as my male counterparts. I was sickened by the stares and leers and obvious interest in my being amongst the business crowd. Yes, I work! I wear suits! I am professional! Take me seriously, men! Sometimes I have to fight the urge to be a colossal bitch to everyone just to prove that I can be tough and serious just like any other guy in the office. Because God forbid I show an ounce of weakness!

It's sad and distressing knowing that I work just as hard, if not harder, than my male coworkers and yet I get half the respect. Have you ever had your manager laugh in your face and call you a "typical woman"? I have. Almost daily. Have you been left out of meetings and informative conferences while all the guys order big lunches and coffees and shmooze in the office and leave you to tend to clients? Me, me! I have. It's a constant uphill battle and I wonder how much energy I have in me for it. Sometimes if I come into work in a happy mood on a Monday morning the men will ask if I got laid. As if it's appropriate or has anything to do with being in a good mood. It's tiring. It's exhausting. When do you stop laughing it off? When will I snap? When will I be comfortable going to one of my five male managers to tell them I feel discriminated against and that I fight with sexual harassment on a daily basis? How do I tell the men who ask if I'm a freak in the sack I would like a raise or a promotion? Sigh... Someday, right?

Love is not just for lovers

Last night I drank to love. I drank to my friends and New York and Hawaii and Oregon and California! I would have drank to Washington but, frankly, I just don't like that state.

Do you have a Valentine? I've always been in a relationship during this time of year yet I've always spent it alone (and no, celebrating the day a week later or earlier does not count in my book). But this year things are different. This recently single woman is spending lover's weekend with her friends. To sooth the ache of being alone this year I spent most of my paycheck on clothes, wigs, and food with my beautiful friend, Mary. Then I spent more money on alcohol and cab-rides galavanting around the city with another dear friend (unfortunately we just ended up making fools of ourselves after too much Barrel Head and Boom Boom, but good times were had nonetheless).

It's a tradition of mine to go see horror films for Valentine's Day. This year I want to catch a matinée but it seems there are no good scary movies out in theaters. What's wrong with the world? How am I supposed to get myself through this weekend without a thriller and a bucket of popcorn so large and greasy I could drown in it?

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

Let's Get This Started!

I moved to NYC in July of 2010. I hit the ground running and haven't looked back yet. It was hot. Ridiculously hot (and now it is oh so cold, but that's another story for another day). But that didn't stop me! I found cafés and cupcakes and subways and everything my heart desired. Check it out: it's s'moores flavored! With a huge glass of ice-cold milk. What better way to combat the heat than with treats?

Sure, learning public transportation after living with cars, cars, and more cars my whole life was a bit daunting. But look at me! I'm a natural. Believe me, I got lost--and still get lost sometimes thanks to the joyous construction that never ends--but it's fabulous.

At first I thought I would never find little gems like antique or thrift stores. But the magical thing about this city is that if you walk long enough and wander far enough, eventually whatever you long for is plopped into your lap. Beautiful, right?

So here's to 2011 and all the absolutely fabulous adventures I am guaranteed to have.